Deja Vu and Deciding.

Life has been very deja vu – very Ground Hog Day – lately. I’m taking that as a sign that I have things yet to learn from those repeated situations and moments to truly savor before the next set of events comes my way. It’s a strange feeling but also a comforting one because I’m getting multiple chances to enjoy Connor’s growing moments. We don’t often get the second chances we want so I’ll do my best to make the most of the ones I do get.

This week will be a series of deja vu moments since ‘Rad and I will have the mornings together before I head to work. It seems to take hours to get him ready to go outside (sunscreen, clothes, toohbrushing, finding his hat, etc.), but once the sun hits our faces the minute hand starts to fly and I can barely keep up with the time or the kid. No wonder he minutes at work creep by – there’s very little enjoyment in them compared to watching Connor take in the outside world and every single car and truck we pass by.

I’ve been thinking a lot about work and ‘Rado and family time and trying to figure out how to better balance and prioritize it all. Is it possible? I think we all do our best. We may feel somewhat powerless to reach the balance we want, but I’ve been reminded of how much power we do have and how we should never forget about it or give it up. I’m searching for my power to improve my situation and it feels incredibly freeing just to make a decision towards change, no matter how long it may take. A mini-step in my mini-life crisis: being my own decider.

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