CTFD

Today wasn’t one of my best. I try to reserve judgment until this time each night when all the distracting emotions of the day finally have a chance to rush over the short damn I’ve built during my waking hours. Tonight I feel like I need a little more CTFD in my life (I’m pulling that expression from this article) because I was on Connor about everything – cleaning up his toys, acting too goofy, being too whiny, harassing the dog, not leaving me alone, spitting out his dinner, everything. I don’t know why I was such a hell mother. Maybe it’s because I was tired or I was at my parents’ house or because I’m still frogging pregnant. After bathtime my resolve started to wane, thankfully, and Connor and I parted ways amicably after I tucked him in. That’s what matters to me most – that we don’t go to bed mad at each other. Plus, I was a super awesome mom 5 minutes before bedtime and let him wear this fluffy number to bed with his race car pjs.

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I didn’t do anything particularly awesome for myself today besides take a hot, leisurely shower. Sometimes that’s the most awesome one can muster. Tomorrow, however, will be full of awesome since it will be the last day of work this week and Z and I are going out to dinner sans ‘Rado with a close friend who’s in town for the holiday. As much as I’ve whined about wanting and needing Connor-free time, there’s something about missing bedtime that nags me. We both need it, though, because bedtime with Little Pea in the world could be something I miss often until we figure things out. Man, I would love to sneak into ‘Rado’s room and give that little robed nugget a kiss…

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone! Eat an extra piece of pumpkin pie (my method is to scrape the pumpkin off the crust and save the crust for last), throw some extra gravy on your mashed taters, enjoy an extra spoonful of stuffing, and have an extra beer for me.

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